Last month I talked about how I ended up in coaching, so in this second article I thought it would make sense to talk about how the transition from athlete to coach affects your life. I’ll warn you now: I am not going to sugarcoat this; you’re going to get the good, the bad, and the ugly, including some excerpts from my coaching diary.

When I just talked about ‘the transition from athlete to coach’ it was misleading. Just because I am a coach doesn’t mean that I have stopped being an athlete and therein lays the first challenge of becoming a coach. Some of the time you have managed to beg, borrow, and steal from your busy life so you could spend it weightlifting is now time you are going to give to others for the benefit of their development as weightlifters. Much like the day you become a parent for the first time, you are making a long-term choice to put someone else’s needs before your own. (The rewards are so worth it, but more of that later.)

So now that you’re a coach, you need to fit your own training around your coaching. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Not so fast. Here are two excerpts from my coaching diary:

“…too wired to train after session.”

“…drilling hip drive with Dave* left me feeling totally mentally exhausted tonight”

Whatever your athletes go through in a session, you’ll go through with them! If the session is a PR frenzy and everyone is feeling high, so will you. If people are burnt out and frustrated it’ll rub off on you; clearing your head after imbibing all that energy is pretty challenging. And then if you stay behind to train, you might be the last one in the gym training all alone, with just your thoughts for company.

I wouldn’t deny that the practical reality of needing to be at the gym more than before takes some working around. However, even though I have found it more challenging to get in to the right headspace for my own training, I have also been hugely inspired. Witnessing the way my athletes respond to my cues and tips and seeing the work they put in for me gets me stoked. Now when I pick up a barbell I am much more willing to put the work in, too. I am committed to matching their effort level pound for pound.

Additionally, I am more aware of my passive influence while I’m training. Now that I am a coach and deemed to have a certain level of knowledge and experience, people watching me lift will assume that the way I move is a correct way to move. This has led to some frustrating sessions of video analysis working out some kinks in my technique. From my journal:

“Tonight is third week of low weight high rep hang cleans to eliminate over use of arms. Getting there slowly.”

Although I resent it sometimes, I know that imposing the same level of technical discipline on myself as I would with others will pay dividends. The expectations I have of myself have increased. Maybe I just don’t like feeling like a hypocrite?

If becoming a coach challenges you to up your game in terms of your own athletic performance, it also asks more of you as a person. For most amateur weightlifters, going to the gym is a way to let off steam, to release tension, and to get back to being comfortable in their own skin. On their worst days, they can get away with finding a rack or platform and doing their own thing in virtual silence. When you’re a coach, it’s not that easy. It’s actually your job to communicate enthusiastically and to give positive emotional energy out to your athletes.

The role expects of you that you will put your own cares aside and put someone else’s needs to the fore. This isn’t as bad as it sounds, since making other people happy has a way of making you happy. But putting forth love and happiness is harder on some days than others, and some people receive positive vibes better than others, too. I call people who refuse your encouragement and advice the ‘Buts.’ They are ‘Buts’ because whatever you suggest they will always have a ‘ but I can’t because’ reason why they cannot do it. From my journal:

“….Dan* was a bit challenging again tonight. If he just tried what I suggested once in a while he might actually progress………argh!”

Unless you are a high level or Olympic level coach, most of your athletes are training to enjoy it and will have to balance things like family life and work as well. Venting your frustration at someone who is essentially a paying client is just not acceptable and therefore to a certain extent you will have to swallow the recurring protestations of your ‘Buts.” You can get to know them gradually and try to unpack where this self sabotage is coming from, but at the end of the day, they are not motivated by Olympic medals and sponsorship. Sometimes people just don’t wannna give it everything.

Here is the best advice I can give you about the ‘Buts’: It’s not your fault. You are doing your best. Let it go!

Given the challenges and changes coaching has brought to my life, why do I do it? Well, first of all, because coaching a sport that your athletes are doing because they love it is a great gig. I trained as a teacher and I taught woodwork. In my first year of teaching, I had a group of 60 students. Out of 60 students, four were there because they loved the idea of being woodworkers. The rest were there (initially at least) because they had run out of options academically. When I coach weightlifting I know that even the ‘Buts’ are there because they love the sport.

The second motivation is that seeing people get excited about weightlifting reminds me why I get excited about it. It stops me training out of habit and encourages me to train out of love. It makes me up my game both as a lifter and a person. I am proud to be a coach and I am more fulfilled. My life is richer because for a few hours a week I put a bunch of other people first. Finally, I coach because I can’t not coach; it’s becoming a part of who I am!

*By the way, some names have been changed to protect the identities of certain Buts!